I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
