All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
