I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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