Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
