I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
