I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
