I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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