with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize