just tell him i said nine months
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
