people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
