and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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