Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
