PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
