Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
