she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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