I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I should be sponsored by Trojan
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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