Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
