this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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