we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
