No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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