I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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