yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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