You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
