Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
