I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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