Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
We had to coat check the pizza.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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