Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
