bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
