I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
