i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
