She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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