Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
