Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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