I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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