dude i'm inner monologue high
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Less talking, more tequila
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Randomize
