where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
