I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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