You work out of a Hotel?
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
