you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
