And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
