Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
