If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
