We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
