I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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