I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
