I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
