For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize