you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
