I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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