dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
