Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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