I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
birth control should be required to get into college
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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