sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize