Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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