i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
