i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
only if we run a train.
done.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
