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• (850): View more from Florida

  I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.

  (1-850): View more from Florida

  Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom

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• (320): View more from Minnesota

  I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.

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• (936): View more from Texas

  You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-

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• (650): View more from California

  Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here

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• (916): View more from California

  10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.

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• (620): View more from Kansas

  I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!

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