This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
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